Looong hiatus...

yeah, its been a hell of a long time since i've posted. partially, i've just been in a lethargic funk. i'm sitting here in austin with nothing to do, no social engagements, no job, just food to cook and eat, and food to go out and eat.

now don't get me wrong. i'm working on meeting people and finding things to do, and i'm not ready to off myself due to the boredom, but i wish i had more going on. i should start work on monday, which should help, and i should know soon where i'm going to school, so i can begin making plans for that. whoop de doo.

meantime. i am completely addicted to noodles; specifically, vietnamese noodles with pork and eggroll chopped up on them, doused in hoissin sauce and fish sauce. good, fucking, stuff.

i am also addicted to a few terribly dance-pop songs on the radio currently. the brain says no, but the heart and booty say yes... i fold. cascada wins.

i've also had some errant thoughts about relationships and beauty, but i think i'll save those for later. but suffice it to say that, when you are feeling cut off and lonely, those feelings can override your actual thoughts about a person. your emotional reality trumps actual physical reality. an interesting little trick, i think.

also, i really can't afford to take someone liking me as this messianic opportunity that i would be crazy not to jump on. personal refresher course: lots of people like josh, many more than josh likes. i am the deciding factor here, and it wouldn't due to lose touch with what i want, desire, and deserve (to a lesser extent).

there. that ego trip out of the way, what else... i'm trying to enforce new adventures in sobriety, and i continue to make food, which my housemates continue to eat and rave about. i continue my wait for word from graduate programs, which is NOT FREAKING ME OUT AT ALL!!!

i need a consort, a posse. i need a crew, and a partner in crime. perhaps i'll find those things when i begin school, but just seems a long time to wait...