Bare Jr. Still Loves You!

so i finally, FINALLY (drumroll please)

duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh...

i finally got my forking bobby bare jr. cd! AAAAH!!!

featuring such greats as "valentine," and "your adorable beast"!

i am so happy i think i could fend off an earth-shattering meteor with the force of my manic glee. actually, i've gotten a little less ecstatic as the day has gone on, but that's to be expected, what with hating my job and all. speaking of which, after this post, i need to go and apply for a promotion so they can pay me more money and give me benefits for doing the exact same job.

and i need to write a letter of introduction to architecture schools in the NYC area.

and my plants are back on the windowsill where they belong, and no one has said anything, and they look so much happier there... and all the lilies are sprouting. too early, but such potential for prettiness...

i've been feeling better recently, but i'm not sure why. and i've been drinking so much caffeine that i had trouble falling asleep last night even after making my body all tired and stuff at the gym. but it was that wierd pregnant sort of hyperactivity, where you're lying still, but your mind is just humming. i should have written something, but i didn't want to deal with all the shit that would have stirred up. i don't know. but whoa. whacko! i'm flying right now!

i watched "Garden State" last weekend. you know i really must love a movie if i go to the extent of properly capitalizing its title. it was so so so so great... its been a while since i saw a movie that i felt really spoke to me. well, here it is. i loved it, and the soundtrack is amazing, and i've been listening to it non-stop, like a diver will desperately clutch at that tank of air deep below the surface. its good. its real good. i'm a little in love with it.

on that note, zach is in love with it also, and it's always such an odd experience when we both really love something, because we really love it for completely different but valid reasons. so i don't know. god he's so funny... anywhoo...

something is clearly wrong with me. i'm sitting here at work, and i don't feel like death. this is like, practically unprecedented. but i love it! ha!

what else is there...

ah yes... the apostle and his necessary female keeper (because all gay males must have their female cohort) have been appearing in my path of travel more recently, and so i find myself talking to them both. it is nice. entertaining even. in that it is SO much fun to entertain others, and win them over to my side before they even realize that such a war is being waged... she is a bit kookier than he. she is a gemini, he is a virgo (eerie, i know) and he is a much better virgo than me. he seems quiet and retiring. he needs to show some teeth. if he has them.

but every time i talk to him, the thought keeps popping up in my head, "you are not cute." and despite this, i am terrified of talking to him more, because what if i were to start liking him as a person? he could bring me down from the inside, simply by being a decent, moderately funny and realistic person. if he is those things, i might find myself considering him a friend. and i can't be friends with males, because then i decide we must be lovers, and i've decided that its a BAD IDEA to go there with this young man...

i'm telling everyone to recite this mantra to me every now and then. you do it too.

"No Matter How Lonely You Are, a Bad Idea is Still a Bad Idea."

help me out with this folks. lets keep me just barely on this side of the good/bad person divide.

kay. laters.