How In The Hell...

really though... how in the hell did a saint (not a group known for being particularly carnal or eros-driven) get their birthday (or "saint's day") done up as a holiday celebrating conjugal relations? this puzzles me, and no-one seems to have a good answer. so if YOU have the answer, please share it with me.

so Valentine's Day...

i've never liked this holiday. you should always treat the important people in your life with love, affection, compassion, and all the things this holiday purportedly celebrates. this day should only be the continuance of the reverence with which you treat those who love you and share their lives with you.

one day ain't gonna cut it if you been bein' a prick!

i also don't like the way the day normalizes (beyond normal) coupledom, and suddenly every well-adjusted, happy single person (well, i'm pretty happy at least...) has to wake up and say, "damn, what the fuck is wrong with me? why am i failing at this, the most basic of all of life's areas? pass the porn and empty carbohydrates/refined sugar." of course, those things usually just make you feel worse...

i have always harbored dreams of being the roving anti-valentine. if i am ever involved with someone during the dreaded day, i would like to break up with them for the duration of the day. in fact, perhaps we will go out to a romantic restaurant, dressed nicely, and stage a loud and horrible public breakup, just for show. just to leave all those other happy couples a little less happy. i would speed around on my anti-valentine moped/vespa and pop people's balloons, pluck the petals from their flowers, smear dookie on their little heart-holding teddy-bears, and leave rotting corpses on doorsteps, right next to the morning paper.

all that being said...

i am so ridiculously happy today! i feel fine fine fine, fine like wine, because, after all my grousing and grumping last week, my coworkers decided the only answer would be to hold down my tongue with a stick and shove valentine's day down my throat like a great big multi-vitamin. i came in today to find my computer monitor arrayed and bedecked with pink hearts and red-and-white heart ribbons. i have cards, and rugrats lolli-pops, and white chocolate nuggets with cookie crunchies in them, and so many beautiful expressions of love, and granted they did it partially in jest, to "serve me right" for my anti-valentine war-mongering, but it came from love, and caring enough about me to cheer my up, even if i want to be miserable.

so once again, somehow, i have become the center of a circle of people who love me, and care about me, and i never know how these things happen, and they all laughed as i sputtered and made little squealy noises, and joked that it was the only time ever that they had known me to be speechless. and i was. because i can only respond to these things like a shocked child, amazed that someone would find me special enough to merit that kind of consideration...

and so, onto the matters at hand...

to those who read this blog (you KNOW who you are...) there are sparkly things aplenty on their way to you. i am tardy, as always, but rest assured you are NOT forgotten, and joys and treasures are finding their way to you.

as for right here and right now...

Speechie, i love you so much, and can only imagine my later years if they involve living with you in a little old house, grousing about the weather and checking out the twenty-first century hotties on mtv2k50. i think of you every day, and then smile and laugh.

Paco, light of my life, who is so kind to me, even when i don't deserve it... my dear, i love you to pieces, and have reserved a neighboring house for you in our old age, so you can always be right next door, but don't have to live with me when i'm cheesing you off. because i know that happens.

Chris, you are the indomitable partner in crime. in the dictionary, under the word "synchronicity," our pictures appear, right by each other. i love you so much, and am so glad that in the desert of texas, i can always fill my cup at your fountain.

Kas, you are the queen of the texas regime. you are royalty, no matter how much we all gripe and groan about it, and promise not to say it to your face (it'll only make it worse!) but the truth must be said. i love you dearly, and am blessed to have you in my life.

to all who i love, i hope you know who you are; mother, father, sister, brother, all my friends, anyone to whom i've ever said a kind word, or who has said a kind word to me, i love you all so much, and without you, i would be nothing. i am only such stuff as what you give me, and your love is what makes me whole. i cannot be without you, and i hope i enrich your lives as much as you enrich mine, because i am the wealthiest and most blessed person because of you all.

all right. enough. i must stop with the sappiness. i'd rather not cry at work AGAIN. and we're getting to that point a little bit... god i'm so easy...

in other news...

the Garden of Spite is up and running. (the windows are so sunny here! they're going to love it! and i mixed up such a great potting soil for them! ooh!) and bringing great joy to me and my cohorts already.

i am a financial wizard after only two months of research. (at least, i think i am)

and i shall leave you with the everliving words of bobby bare jr. i think you'll enjoy them.

"
Valentine,
I killed my Valentine,
And I laughed, until I cried,
For my Valen-
tine.

Valentine,
I killed my Valentine,
And I'll proudly do the time,
For my Valen-
tine.
"

keep on truckin'.