No YOU Have the Right to Remain Silent!

HA! no, i'm not in trouble with the law. i've just been having a rough-ish week, and am feeling contrary and angry. so woe betide me if any cops pull me over for some freakish reason, because i feel the above response will not endear me to them. i swear, i sometimes think that if i wasn't me, i wouldn't like me very much. except that i'd probably charm my pants right off... yes. sex with the self. a not uncommon practice in these parts...

i just ordered a christ-y day present for dad off of amazon, the uk version. unfortunately, amazon is a rather red company, and probably regardless of which country your goods originate in... but damnit! if borders isn't going to carry something as awesome as the complete box set of the bbc radio broadcasts of "the hitchicker's guide to the galaxy" (by douglas adams, god bless him...) then i have no alternative. of course, i shouldn't have lost his copies in the first place, because then i wouldn't have to buy him a replacement. i feel like it doesn't even count as a real present, since i'm only replacing something i lost in the first place... and how much does 44 pounds equal in us dollars? i'd kind of like to know...

side note: my goods originated here in the good ole u s of a

side note to side note: i crack me up

i need to finally, FINALLY finish my statement of purpose today. i rewrote it entirely this week, and it just needs a little smoothing out. this new one is much better than my first attempt. the first line is "i was raised by a pack of wild psychologists." it just gets better from there. so anyway, that's something to do. i need to do it so i have something to show for this god-awful week. it wasn't even so bad, except that i feel so lazy and unproductive, and have been stewing about my first therapy appointment in months, which i missed anyway because i thought it waas today and it was actually yesterday. i'm going to kick myself in the head...

i just read my first john grisham book. i hate to say it, but i enjoyed it. i made a silent vow some time ago never to read his stuff, just because he churns out like five novels a year and is so goddamned popular. unfortunately, he's also a pretty good writer, so i don't even have the satisfaction of being able to say, "yeah, i read john grisham, and for the record, HE SUCKED!" nope. humble pie over at table "blunt instruments". again.

anyway, i don't really want to bore anyone with more crap about my current affairs... i need to find a house and a job, but finishing applying to schools is now priority number one once again. gotta get movin'. after the statement of purpose, i just have to make my portfolio, which will be an unwieldy effort, but fun, in a way. i get to revisit all sorts of old art projects, savvily present them, etc. zach and i are no longer rowing. not like, rowing a boat... like, fighting, british-style... he has the sat tomorrow. i've been helping for the last week and a half as he's practiced the writing section. god knows, but he has improved by my calculations... now he just needs to get above a four hundred something on the verbal section, get another six or seven hundred something on the math, and he's set. i'm crossing my fingers, but luck's a paltry thing to depend on... he probably should have studied.

i am so terribly tired, it is disgusting. and i want a drink really badly. not good. but hey... um... at least i don't feel bitterly cold all the time regardless of the actual temperature! except that i do... hmm... i'm losing my protective layer of blubber (i use the term technically. i never looked like a fat happy seal. my body dismorphia isn't THAT bad. its pretty bad though...) and its wreaking havoc with my internal thermometer. not rectal, internal. there's a difference... those of you who remember how cold i got so easily sophomore year of college, well, its happening again, only this time i'm still in texas and i feel cold. that, really sucks.

and on that note, i leave you. i should go do something productive for a bit before i become bored with the day and wrap myself in a blanket.

side note: i am addicted to tiger balm.

side note to side note: because of that episode of "venture brothers".

side note to side note to side note: yes, i am that sad. and funny too!