No Touchie, No Feelie

the compulsion to go buy a bottle of whiskey and drink a lot of it is quite strong recently. this is not good. i keep managing to find myself not having the time to do so, or i'm out, but the stores closed already. these are good things. i'm still conspiring against my self-destructive desires, which is cool. that or i'm lucky. and luck, as we all know, just doesn't last forever.

i've written a story. its dark. (i told that to mom, those two sentences, verbatim. she burst into laughter. "is that like, supposed to be a surprise or something?" i guess not.) i did a second draft on my computer. i need to wait a few days and really edit the hell out of it. so far, i like it, but i think parts of it need re-working. remember kids, character motivation should be plausible, whatever that means in the fictional world you're creating. i hate editing... i hate editing my own work. but i need to make sure it all works, and produces the correct visceral effect. ah, the creative process...

i'm steeling myself to go out and run an errand or two and go get coffee for a bit. i'm not sure what to do on the computer. i should probably start looking for a place in austin. i need to move up there, even if i don't yet have a job lined up. that will just have to wait for a time. i'm working on it. i think i need to make a day trip and hang out with a vietnamese boy who might be my friend and apply at any coffee shop and bookstore we pass as we tool around the city. that, is the plan. of course, said boy is sick at the moment. we'll see if he gets better.

"yo mama is so cross-eyed, when she cry, tears roll down her back."

it is rosh hashana, the jewish new year. an excuse to get drunk, if ever i heard one. jews, celebration, booze. the three go together like baseball, apple pie, and the genocide of the american indian. no booze. bad alcy.

sometimes, i find myself singing along with a song, completely forgetting what i was doing beforehand. i like that. it is scientifically proven that singing improves one's mood. it has to do partly with breathing correctly, which greatly improves anyone's singing skills. i think it simply also has to do with letting one's soul fly. i think making noise is a heavenly process. proudly and unabashedly announcing one's presence, one's life, one's ability to effect the world around them, it is good. its just good.

kay. i think i've been shmaltzy enough for one morning. time to put on a hat, get a usb connection cord, and go have coffee. and maybe get a book beforehand. i don't know what to read anymore. i've devoured so many thousands of pages recently... perhaps its time to write more of my own... we'll try that out and see how it goes. adieu adieu.

hey yey yey...