Quickie...

sorry if this ends abruptly, but i'm supposed to meet dad for coffee in a few minutes, so i really only have a quarter of an hour to write. deadlines deadlines all around. fun, right?

so i'm putting plans to move to the big apple on hold. but i keep getting residual mails from people i mailed a week ago. people with apartments to let, employers in the nyc area who think my resume is spiffy... its great. one guy wrote to tell me that my letter about his property to rent was the most obnoxious thing he'd ever seen during his 36 years in real estate. a lovely way to start the day, no doubt.

so i'm a bit unhappy about that. i wish i wasn't so affected by it, and i also wish that i knew more about the whole real estate process, so that i didn't make whatever faux pas i made that made him so angry. aargh. not pleasant.

my tasks for the day are to research architecture programs in austin, and then look up jobs in austin. it seems like my current plan for the future involves a lot of austin. which is sorta cool. austin is supposed to be awesome, and it does feel totally different from san antonio. there are crunchy people there, and liberal people, and people my age. so that is nice. i wish i could get all the way out of texas, but that might just have to wait. anyway, austin is a step up.

i wish i could go to new york now. but that just doesn't seem as doable. its expensive, and difficult, and i don't feel healthy enough to really just be out there alone. to an extent, i've never dealt with the end of college and the fact that that portion of my life is over. but maybe i should be busy getting excited about next steps, and what comes now. it is exciting. it would be great to be in school again. and austin really is cool. and i wish all my friends from college could be more involved in it all, but i'll just have to keep them informed via e-mail and phone calls. which makes me feel shitty. but that can't stand in the way of progress.

so i have a plan for the day, and i've started reading a new book that seems cool. i'll be having the coffee with dad soon, and things will progress. i just wish i could have everything i want now. but that, is simply not the way of life. and if we had everything we wanted right when we wanted it, would it all be as special? i sort of don't think so.

so off to the races for now. more later.

sick-poo. (yes, i still feel sorta cruddy.)