Chocolate and Hazelnut

why are european candies and sweets so much better than american ones? i just ate half a box of Viennese chocolate-covered hazelnut filled wafer cookies. it was like lil' debbie nutty bars on continental steroids. the pieces were nice and small, so you didn't feel that bad about it, and four pieces (there are ten to a box) only have 12 grams of sugar. do you know how good that is? do you know how great that is for a diabetic? and they were light, and not too sweet tasting, and i think hazelnut and chocolate is a flavor combination i would be willing to add to sex.

so here i am holding down the harcourt fort at a quarter til four, monday afternoon. i'm pretty tired, but that's all right. i have yoga tonight. i have some work i should get started on now. my plants are doing great. very lovely. still don't think i'm gonna water them. they can make it another few days. poor babies... ah, they're fine, clearly. its nice having the herbs as a top growth to the lilies, because they can serve as a water gauge. when they start to look a little piqued, i water. good system. kudos to josh.

in other news... the twitchy aquarian refuses to settle down, but becomes slightly more overtly sexual. fair enough... whatever... the apostle is clearly ticked off with me. i would be ticked off with someone if they were treating me the way i treat him. but i'm trying to maintain a safe distance. because of a very universal bit of human programming:

Inner voice #1: Hey look! We have some power! What should we do with it?

Inner voice #2: Um... abuse it?

Inner voice #1: Fair enough.

i will remain a good person. because that is what i want to be: a good person. i want it inscribed on my tombstone. "he tried his best to be a pretty good person, and for the most part, he succeeded." remember that in case i don't make it home today.

anyway, its odd to be desired by someone. i'm usually the one doing the desiring (and how!) but not today. now i am the object of affection. and i don't like it. objects don't have a lot of agency. maybe that's why its unfair to "objectify" people. hmm... i think i'm getting somewhere... anyway, yeah. its odd. i don't like it when people are interested in me. it makes me think they've seen through my shields (paltry as they are...) or that my shields aren't aligned properly. add a dash of bitterness and a heaping cup of aloofness... stir well.

grr... now i have to run all the way out to get my resume so i can apply for a position with the company. and get more money. that's all that's motivating me. money. i actually like where i sit, so do my plants, i like my neighbors, and the work is fine. and the work won't change. i'll just get more money and benefits for doing it. but i still don't want to move. screw cubicles, i want window frontage.

kay. i am going to start on this work now. (aargh...) and fiddle, get my resume, etc... i'll talk to you all later.