*EXPLOSION*

boom.

my brother is really clingy. he's uber-clingy. he's so clingy, it scares me. he's so clingy that, i'll notice blatant evidence of his clinginess and say, "damn! you're fucking clingy!"

not that there's anything wrong with being strongly emotionally bonded to other humans...

but god damn!

i'm housesitting again. not for the creepy rich people with the hyperactive labrador puppy, but for mom's friend and colleage marilyn. so once again, i'm sitting in a house in alamo heights, surrounded by evidence of wealth, in service to a hyperactive terrier (he's all right though) and his domain. the house feels safe, and i don't feel so desperately out of place, which is nice. something about 62 inch flat screen high-definition t.v. sets with digital cable gives me hives... the trappings of obscene wealth just make me feel itchy and anxious. marilyn's house has none of that rot. its a house. there is lovely art on the walls, and masses of books and cds. i have a foot of reading to do while i'm here, by which i mean, after ransacking the house for every book i want to read, they measure a full foot when stacked up. rock on.

i spent the day recovering from last night, when i found her alcohol cabinet and crawled into a bottle of bacardi limon. i saw mr and mrs. smith with kas, then we ate, then i meandered around the book store and came back here. and when i called mom this evening to tell her that i wasn't coming over today, she said zach was pissed with me. which isn't news, really, but hey... so i called him, and he was just irritated that he hadn't seen me today. which is fine, but really, as carl once said, "look, if i wanted a wife to nag my head off, i'd order one from russia!" it is ridiculous to me that he didn't bother calling my ass all day, and then he gets to be all wimpy and irritated that he hadn't seen me in twenty-four hours.

hey zach, stop being such a goddamned woman, eh?

he's a bitch. i don't care. and yes, i'm being sexist. i don't care.

i do care, actually, but its funny, so i'm leaving it.

i meant it was funny to me.

fuck off.

anyway, this entry is coming to you direct from *tada!* THE POWERBOOK! *applause* yes, it finally arrived. i'm very excited.

this entry sucks balls. i'm not sure exactly what i want to be writing about. i'm tired, and my brain is not working well.

look, i'll get back to you later. when i can formulate coherent thoughts.

maybe i could go to sleep... it is ten...

yes, i'm an old man. i don't care. fuck off.