Holy God...

oh there is nothing holy about this feeling inside me right now. today i have officially eaten an ASS-LOAD of cookies. coworker melissa brought two boxes of girl scout "samoas" (now called caramel delites, so as not to offend brown skinned island dwellers) to work today. most of those two boxes, are in me right now. don't laugh. its not funny. i am so full of cookie, i think i will vomit. the next time i shit, i will shit dough. and the saddest part is, now that i'm sitting here after lunch, i sort of want another one. i think i have that one last one, i will explode, and litter the cubes around me with blood and bone fragments, and little peices of coconut daubed with caramel.

i am in pain. this much is clear. today is looking to be a lovely friday, in that i don't have a lot of work, and if i get more, i may just ignore it until monday. i deserve an easy day. i woke up tuesday morning and said, "mom, its like, wednesday, or thursday, right?" no. tuesday. this week, has been the longest, most ass-lancing span of time EVER. but i am all set to go home and do some gardening, so that on monday morning, i can bring in The Garden of Spite.

The Garden of Spite

i have long wanted to bring some green growing things into work, with which to brighten my space, bring life to my days, practice my nurturing skills, irritate my co-workers (not the ones on my side, the evil ones), and remind myself that, no matter how deep in a test from hell i am, there is life and goodness about me.

well, i now have all the necessary things with which to make this dream a reality. pots, check. crockery for drainage, check. soil, check. blood and bone meal, check. organic compost, check. baby, i've got it all. and following is a list of the plants i will be gracing my (yes, its mine, because i claim it, and if harcourt wants it back, they will have to fight me for it...) windowsill:

orange dwarf lilies
spotted onion plant
hoya
rue
spearmint
lemon balm
rosemary

rosemary is simply a boost for mental powers. memory retention and things like that. mints (of which balms are a cousin) represent virtue and sentiment. hoya means sculpture (i have no clue what that means...) and the onion, i think is just an onion. now is where it gets good. if you remember your hamlet, rue is representative of remembrance and regret in particular. ophelia gave it to claudius before she did the drinky drinky dive. lilies are generally indicative of majesty, power, pride, etc; orange lilies, however, are also indicative of hatred and spite.

so basically, taken all together, my garden is sending harcourt a very definite message: i am a virtuous soul with a good memory, and you will rue the day you caused me to feel such hatred and spite towards you all.

i have way, way, WAY too much time on my hands. but the plants should be pretty, so i'm looking forwards to it.