Happy Birthday Z***!

today is brother's birthday. it is also the first official day of his spring break vacation. he has the entire week off. and sister is home for her spring break vacation. so she has the entire week off. i am a bitter bastard. i want a week off. i don't, actually. but damnit... anywhoo, it is also my exact half-birthday. all three of us children were born on the fourteenth of our respective months. all of us being c-sections might have helped in that matter. so brother and i have shadow birthdays to each other. its an interesting thingity-thing.

also, mom and dad both have birthdays on the 27th of their respective months, so its a family thing. i don't know. and yes, father's new wife fits the code. she was born on the fourteenth of her month. its all a little strange. get used to it. i did.

i have yet to send my brother a "happy birthday" text message. but i will soon. tonight we celebrate at dad's house, right after work. so i don't get to go to yoga. so i'm bitter. but i suppose i'll get over it. after dad and audrey give him food and cake and birthday wishes, he'll go out and get royally stoned (and maybe drunk to boot) with his friends. i'll take my full ass home and read until i fall asleep. god help anyone who gets in the way of my routine... oh well. i dunno. i'm just in a continuing funk. we know this.

i just ate lunch. i had a sandwich and a large amount of diet coke. i didn't want to eat, though... now i feel really full, and i hate feeling full, and even before i ate, i was like, "man, i don't wanna eat... but i should...". so i did, and now i'm regretting it. it was the right decision to make, but i'm just unhappy about the side effects... and i'm not even going to the gym today... AARGH!!! it pisses me off. everything pisses me off. we know this.

the office garden is doing splendidly. they all made it through the weekend. the lilies are all nearing maximum height pre-blooming, the herbs continue to grow like the weeds they are, and the onion is doing its own thing. all is well. i'll water them before i leave on wednesday to make sure they make it through my brief vacation (thursday and friday off, biotch!). actually, this is a terrible week to take a vacation, because we have a bunch of work that MUST be done by this coming tuesday (a week from tomorrow). but you know what? i don't care. i'm taking my motherfucking time off, and ain't nobody gonna stop me.

also, though i judge it to be completely reasonable, i think smoking dope once a week is still too often. maybe twice a month... or something like that. and i don't know if i want to try shrooms right now. it doesn't seem like the move to make. i want to be awake and alive, and ready to resume head-butting the world. i dunno. i think i just need to remind myself to be productive, and work on that, and all will be well. damn but living at home makes you feel guilty... about everything. god forbid i should have any fun at all...

also, tomorrow is (or yesterday was) chris' birthday. so a shout-out to another pisces, and i'm sorry about being the world's biggest jerk. i'm going to try to work on that.

there just seems so little reason for this entry. grr... nothing much is happening. and yet, i feel strange. more on this later.